So just as quickly as we were over the moon about being "official"...we were brought back down to earth by some news. For a little back story:
We got back on this adoption roller coaster about 2 or 3 days prior to beginning IUI treatments to become pregnant. We were approached by Chris' gramma, who (we'll make this easy) knew someone who knew someone who had grandkids available for adoption. We'll call the kids W & J for anonymity's sake :). So we did our due diligence, still knowing in the back of our minds we'd be in that fertility clinic later in the week. But after meeting the grandfather of these 2 precious kids, we felt we needed to look into it farther. So we put the dr on hold (only fair since they make you wait eons right??? LOL) and called around to try (AGAIN) to get our foot in the door of adoption. Knowing the last time we had tried to do that (about 2 years prior), we assumed doors would slam in our faces again. They didn't. In fact, they swung so wide open I'm pretty sure a couple lost their hinges! We were being put into contact with heads of agencies in Arizona and in Oregon & Washington (the kids were in Oregon), and with name partners of adoption law firms (who just HAPPENED *wink**wink* to be licensed in both Arizona and Oregon [SERIOUSLY?!]). Please note, that 2 years prior, we couldn't get an agency to even tell us where to start to save our LIVES!!!!! "Ok, God, we get the hint, we'll keep going!" We were finally put in touch with our current agency, Building Arizona Families (www.buildingarizonafamilies.com), and were told they could be out within the week to start our home study.
Can I please, for a moment say, that both Chris and I have never felt more overwhelmed in our LIVES!! We'd been praying for 4 years for a family. We'd been to agencies, we'd been to endless doctors and specialists, and NOW, 3 days away from a possible pregnancy, we had the decision to make to proceed with fertility or abandon it all (or put it on hold...but it felt like abandoning it) and try to adopt these kids. After much prayer, tears, talking, and WTF's, we decided to proceed with adoption. We blew through our home study in 2 weeks and waited for it to be completed. We started taking the the classes required for us to become certified. And, as posted in the previous blog, we finally became OFFICIAL!!! I called our case worker and said "OK, call Oregon, tell them we're ready to submit on those kids!!"
So she called and called and called and finally was able to speak to someone. Can I please say, that I don't envy her job. Sure she gets to give waiting parents the BEST joy ever by telling them "You're Matched!!" but she also has to tell them when they are NOT matched, or when the kids are not available. And those kids...OUR kids...are no longer available. They have been matched with a family and are in the middle of the adoption process, so they are no longer available. Keep in mind, we were just pulling into the parking lot for the Seattle Seahawks vs. Arizona Cardinals game, so ultimate high, to ultimate low...we thought. After getting off the phone with Hydee, we talked. I cried, Chris cried. But then we discovered something...that we STILL felt like we had made the right decision in pursuing adoption. We knew it was a long shot with these 2 kids. A 3-year-old and an infant don't stay available for long. My biggest fear was hearing that they were no longer available and then feeling like we wasted our time, like we made the wrong decision. We didn't. We both know we didn't. We feel fully at peace that these babies are in an amazing home, together, and that their parents now have 2 precious souls to raise and make THEM a family. And we know that they were God's way of giving us the very strong, and not so subtle push, to get certified and get ready for the babies that He has planned for US!!
So please pray with us. Pray that W & J are blessed beyond belief and that their new mom and dad love them to the fullest. Pray blessing on their new family unit and that God's favor will be ever present in their lives. Though they don't know us, and never will, pray that they just FEEL the love that us and our families and so many have been sending their way, and share in our joy that they have a new home, a new family, together. And please pray for us as we start from scratch searching for OUR kids and the kids that will now make our family complete.
Blessings friends!!!
***J***
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