So...good and bad news. Good news: K & M have a wonderful new home!!! Bad news: it's not w/ us. I have to tell you, if you read about the day we found out about T and then the day AFTER we found out about T, you know I was emotional that day...but that was not even CLOSE to how we felt Friday and this weekend! Hydee called me about 10:30 Friday morning (I nearly threw up when I saw the caller ID) and said "they did decide to go with the other family". You'd never think those words could cut as deep as they did...this felt like it was IT, it REALLY did!! I woke up Friday morning and for a second, pictured the girls in their room...for some reason I pictured yelling upstairs to them for dinner (don't know why it was 3am)...As much as we tried to tell ourselves "it's possible they might not choose us", I have to say, I really don't think we believed that! My parents, Chris' family, the few friends of ours that really knew all the details....man we ALL thought that this was IT!
I drove up to Chris' work to tell him...didn't feel like something to say over the phone. Then we went home, and decided to spend some time w/ my folks that night, just get out of the house. It's funny how much we BOTH pictured the girls there because neither one of us wanted to be there! I'll be honest I'm still kind of numb and in shock so I'm not real sure what I'm feeling.
I came in planning to write some crazy long update today about how I felt all weekend and instead, I get an email first thing from Hydee about another kid...it's just SO bizarre that we have to forget about the girls and move on to the next one, giving that child and those children the same chance and time and care and concern and thought we gave 2 that we truly thought were ours! But I can say, I'm thanking God for clearing my mind and letting me think, because all though I am still COMPLETELY overwhelmed, I honestly feel like I'm ready to look at the next one, whoever that may be.
So lots of prayers, please, that K & M LOVE their new family. That mom and dad can welcome them w/ open arms and love them like their own, like they deserved to be loved! That their new brothers and/or sisters will welcome them into THEIR home and make them feel at home and that the transition would be as easy and seamless as possible. And pray for us, still, that that right kid or kids would find their way into our email boxes and hearts, that the right choices would be made and that we would KNOW without a DOUBT that that child or those children are indeed the Brooks kids that God planned for us.
So, as per usual lately, I'll leave you w/ a song that played the moment I turned my car on to go drive up to Chris' office on Friday (after I cried my eyes out on the phone w/ my mom LOL). God is good, isn't he?!
Blessings everyone!!
Worn: Tenth Avenue North:
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